A full calendar month has passed since our return from the PCT, and we just finished cleaning and stowing all of our gear. It was a hard thing to do - putting items back on the shelf which we carried with us every day for 5 months. Everyone asks how we are adjusting. We’ve been back at work for three weeks, and people are still asking. My guess is that something about my countenance prompts their inquiry.
Re-entry is rocky - but we expected that. I’ve been through it before, after the Appalachian Trail. On the one hand, there is the satisfaction of completing what we set out to do. We were not disappointed. Hiking the PCT together was the absolute best! As A-Train asked in a note to us: Was it magical and epic? Yes, in retrospect, it was. So what on earth is the matter?
It’s over. Something we looked forward to for so long, is now done.
We are in this house, and there is too much stuff. The “civilized” world bewilders us. There is a discontent, which started to gnaw about a week after the initial exhilaration of completing our trek.
The remedy seems to be spending time with family and friends, and that’s a priority. Our daughters and my mom threw us a beautiful surprise party on October 14th to celebrate our return, and belatedly, our wedding anniversary. We received enough bottles of wine to warrant dubbing one room of our house “the wine cellar.”
I think people knew we had a challenging transition ahead of us. They are interested and curious, but it is impossible for most of them to empathize. It was great to have Ghost arrive in town on a visit from her home in California, and we all got together with Samwise who lives nearby. They understand. Samwise hadn’t yet returned to work and Ghost said all she wanted to do when she got home was sit and read.
If I don’t go for a 5 mile run in the morning before work, I can’t function. I’m just addicted to those endorphins. Exercise feels really, really good. I crave it, and it’s a good thing, but there is little time. My commute to and from where I am working on any given day may take 3 hours.
I have to focus on a goal of some kind, each day. Long distance hiking is all about having a goal, and then breaking the big goal down into smaller goals. This of course, is an excellent life lesson, as long as you also learn to enjoy the journey along the way.
Needless to say, this is a hell of a lot easier out there, where there are not a billion distractions and distortions. In my first week back at work, I kept a sign on my desk asking those who approached to please be patient, that I was easily overwhelmed. That was an understatement!
To make a long story short, I have to admit something I suspected after I completed the Appalachian Trail. I really love long distance hiking. It is not hard to understand why some folks are out there year after year.
I find I need to do other things as well: Activities that make a contribution toward the betterment of the world; and I like a good intellectual challenge here and there. But I am also content to be alone with my thoughts - while challenging my body to work as hard as it can. The incredible beauty of the natural world is not lost on me. There is a certain comfort in being small and anonymous. I found it comforting to realize how little I need in material goods.
Above all, on a long distance hike there is ample opportunity to feel grateful: For the opportunity to witness incredible beauty, for companionship and support of friends, for the generosity of complete strangers, and for the inner strength to overcome adversity. Psychologists say that gratitude generates feelings of happiness. I believe it. In the “civilized world” this kind of happiness is more difficult to come by. I get so busy I don’t think about being grateful for what I have. Just the opposite, I sometimes feel resentful toward all the obligations my busy behavior creates.
By now, I hope anyone reading this journal has a sense of how valuable to the psyche taking a trip like this can be. Sure, thru-hiking is not for everyone. But I think everyone, if at all possible, should grant themselves a time-out from their usual obligations at least once in their lives. And I don’t mean that annual two week vacation - which just doesn’t cut it.
My friend Christine sent a special card to welcome us home. I liked what it said: “They came to sit and dangle their feet off the edge of the world and after awhile they forgot everything but the good and true things they would do someday.”
Periodically, I just need to dangle my feet off the edge of the world. It is good to clear the mind, to live simply for a time, and rediscover who you are. Ultimately, after this readjustment period, I will be the better for the skills I exercised on the PCT, for the dreams and ideas I let loose in my head as I hiked.
It is important to acknowledge that our adventure would not have been as successful without several key people. We owe our deepest gratitude to our daughters Heather and Sarah who served as quartermaster and office manager, respectively. Binta, a fellow physical therapist, lived in our house and looked after our two cats. Finally, we and our families are tremendously grateful for the hours upon hours Chris devoted to creating this website, a very meaningful way for us to share our journey. He waded through more than 2000 photos, finding and editing the best ones to post. He taught himself how to weave together those beautiful panoramas.
Yes, my discontent and this disquiet will pass, or at least - get shoved to the deeper recesses of my subconscious - where it poses of course, the risk of an eventual eruption.
There is Nutz to share even that with, and it is a very good thing. We can look at each other, and know that together, we have done something remarkable.
What will be next?
